Baby Blue Eyes: Fourth Season
by Siochan Peace
Summary: AU After his wife's death, Daniel has to juggle work with being a single father.
1. Small Victories: Evil Legos and Simba

**Small Victories: Evil Legos and Simba**

"And then," Jack waved his arms around in the air dramatically, almost knocking over Daniel's soda. "These evil lego things tried to kill us! Thankfully we escaped."

"Legos?" Ryan raised an eyebrow. "That's stupid."

"It indeed sounds ridiculous O'Neill," Teal'c spoke up from where he was sitting. He sipped his orange juice and turned his attention back to the movie, Lion King as the Jaffa had insisted.

"I'm not kidding!" Jack rolled his eyes and grabbed a piece of pizza. "Evil legos Ryan, watch out for them."

"But the biggest question of the night is what is going on with Teal'c's beard thing?" Daniel spoke up from the couch, smiling at his friend who simply raised an eyebrow.

"Daniel Jackson, it is..." Teal'c began but was interrupted by an excited three-year old in his lap.

"Can I touch it?" Ryan asked, blue eyes wide.

Teal'c nodded slightly and Ryan quickly brushed his fingers along the blond line of hair. The boy giggled and slid off the Jaffa to sit by him.

"It tickles," Ryan grinned up at Teal'c who's lips quirked up in a smile.

"Well, now I know," Jack murmured into his beer bottle.

"You know, the Lion King is based off of Shakespeare's Hamlet," Daniel spoke up. "Of course, it's lightened up a bit, everyone doesn't die in the end."

"Daniel, can't I enjoy my singing animals in peace?" Jack threw his hands up, getting a snort of laughter from Sam. "You're destroying Disney for me."

"Be silent, I enjoy this part," Teal'c spoke up as Simba began to sing 'I Just Can't Wait to be King.'

"You know Teal'c, don't get me wrong I love Lion King as much as the next guy, but Disney movies are usually aimed towards children," Jack drained the last of his beer.

"I do not understand why, these films show honorable values," Teal'c responded. "For example, Simba honors his father's memory and resumes his honorable place as king to rule with kindness instead of hate. Earlier in the week, Ryan and I watched Beauty and the Beast which encourages looking beyond appearances. The Gou'ald can learn from these values."

"Here's a plan, let's bring a small TV around with us and we can show every Gou'ald The Little Mermaid," Jack replied sarcastically.

"Accepting who you are," Sam responded getting a serious nod from Teal'c.

"That'll go over well," Daniel laughed.


	2. The Other Side:Cardboard Graduation Hats

**The Other Side: Cardboard Graduation Caps**

"We're going to be late!" Ryan shrieked loudly as Daniel adjusted the four-year old's blue dress shirt. "Hurry up!"

"We still have half and hour before it starts kiddo," Daniel mumbled as he brushed down Ryan's hair which stuck up in every direction. "Everyone is going to meet us there and we'll be as close to the stage as we can get."

Ryan beamed and pulled his paper graduation cap on his head, sprinting for the door. The archeologist sighed and fixed his own tie, grabbing the red robe and his car keys before letting the anxious boy into the hallway.

Ryan grabbed his father's hand and pulled him to the elevator, practically bouncing on his heels. Daniel laughed at his son's eagerness and lightly rapped his knuckles on the cardboard brim of the hat, getting a glare from Ryan.

"You're going to ruin it!" Ryan hissed, adjusting it with great care.

The arrived at the preschool in record time and Ryan cheered happily at the sight of the balloons and the huge sign that read 'Welcome Graduates!'.

Once in the building, Ryan was grinning excitedly at his classmates and other parents.

"Ryan!" And excited shout came from the opposite side of the room and Lucy came sprinting up to them, Eric hot on her heels.

Lucy, normally dressed in jeans and a t-shirt was in a white dress with a yellow band around her waist. Her wild red hair was tamed and pinned back with sparkly clips. Eric was obviously uncomfortable in his dress clothes but was excited to see his friend.

"There you three are!" Ms. Keller, the young preschool teacher said brightly. "We're all meeting in the classroom to set up."

Ryan gave his father a huge grin and hurried after his teacher and friends. Daniel rubbed at the back of his head, suddenly feeling claustrophobic among the huge crowd of parents and grandparents.

"Daniel!" He turned to see Jack dressed in a pair of worn jeans and a leather jacket followed closely by Sam and Teal'c who was wearing a beanie. "Has the little guy already gone back?"

"Yeah," The archeologist fiddled with his glasses for a moment. "Yeah, he's with the teacher."

"Sweet! Let's go get a good seat!" Jack hurried towards the small auditorium.

"Daniel Jackson," Teal'c spoke up as they followed Jack at a much slower pace. "On Chulak the Jaffa celebrate when a student becomes a warrior but it appears as though there are more celebrations of smaller accomplishments on Earth."

"Well, we have mini graduations after each section of schooling; preschool, kindergarten, elementary school, and middle school with the big ones being after high school and college. There is a strong belief that by celebrating these smaller events it encourages children to work harder. They gather a sense of self worth by having a whole celebration of their achievement, no matter how small."

"I am proud to be celebrating this achievement with you Daniel Jackson," Teal'c said after a short silence, getting a smile from Daniel.

"Me too Teal'c," Daniel spotted where Jack was sitting in the third row, saving their seats.

His throat tightened at the pairs of tearful parents taking pictures and talking amongst themselves. Daniel sat down heavily but felt the tension lower when Teal'c pulled out a camera.

"Is it not customary to take many pictures at these events?" He raised an eyebrow at Daniel's smile.

"Yeah, it is," Daniel's grin widened when he heard the classic graduation song begin softly from the speakers and then grow louder when it was suddenly turned up. "Oh look they're coming in!"

A long line of preschoolers marched into the room in multicolored robes and hats. Every so often one child would stop and wave at their parents but they moved on when the child behind them gently pushed them forward.

The sudden movement of Teal'c bringing the camera up and pressing the button repeatedly brought Daniel's attention to Ryan.

The little boy looked around the room with a sad, confused look on his face until he caught his father's eye and broke out into a huge grin. He waved enthusiastically at the group and SG-1 returned the wave excitedly.

The group of preschoolers was lined up on the stage and after finally getting them calmed down, Ms. Keller walked up to the podium.

"Thank you all so much for coming to our graduation," Ms. Keller beamed out at the parents. "Our preschoolers have come so far this year and we're so proud of them. They will be going into kindergarten with a stronger academic and social background that will help them immensely in their elementary school career. I feel beyond blessed to have worked with your children and am proud to officially graduate them from preschool."

The teachers lined up on the stage, holding certificates and plastic medals, and grinned brightly at the obviously excited children.

"Alright kids, when you hear your name please go to Miss Paula and get your medal and certificate."

"Eric Adamson," She called and Eric bounded across the stage. Jenny and Matt took a frantic amount of pictures as she wiped tears from her eyes. The boy took his certificate and grinned as the teacher put the medal around his neck.

"Lucy Adamson," The usually vivacious Lucy slowly stepped forward, smiling shyly. Daniel smiled when he saw Ryan clapping enthusiastically for his friends.

The rest of the children were called out, one girl tripping and getting upset, before they finally got to the J's.

"Ryan Jackson," She called and SG-1 erupted into applause. Ryan grinned brightly at his father and the team before grabbing his certificate and getting his medal.

The repeated click of the camera from Teal'c continued until all the children had crossed the stage.

"Congratulations preschoolers!" Ms. Keller said and a teacher gave the cue for the children to throw their paper hats in the air and cheer. Teal'c finger moved rapidly on the button and he stood like most parents to get a better picture.

"I have taken two-hundred and eighty-four photographs Daniel Jackson," Teal'c announced. "Is that satisfactory?"

"Yes Teal'c," Daniel said with a laugh. "Far more than satisfactory."

Then the children were turned loose to go to their parents and before he knew it, Daniel was almost tackled by his son.

"Look! Look at my medal daddy!" He was waving the plastic medal in one hand and the certificate in the other.

"I see it! It's awesome!" Daniel hugged his son tightly and kissed him on the top of the head. "I am so proud of you. You have no idea how proud I am!"

Ryan simply smiled back and ran his fingers along the smooth surface of the plastic medal.


	3. Upgrades: The Golden Rule

**Upgrades: The Golden Rule**

"I can't move," Daniel groaned, soreness pulsing through his whole body. Jack nodded miserably from where he was laying on the couch, downing another aspirin.

Although Anise had promised no ill effects from the armbands, the constant, rapid movement of muscles had caused them to become incredibly sore and stiff.

"I think I'm dying," Jack moaned pitifully, straining to reach his glass of water without actually moving too much.

"Perhaps you should have listened to Dr. Frasier," Teal'c spoke up from where he was helping Ryan construct a house with PlayDoh on the kitchen table. "She did warn you that it was not completely safe."

"Was that an I told you so Teal'c," Daniel mumbled, adjusting the ice packs on his legs. "If so, that's not nice."

"Treat others like you want to be treated," Ryan piped up, trying to place a red chimney on the roof as Teal'c sculpted a small dog.

"Precisely Ryan," Teal'c nodded and raised an eyebrow at Jack's snort.

"But when someone is treating someone else like a complete as," Jack's reply was cut off as Daniel kicked him in the ribs hard, making both men cry out from pain, the sudden movement causing the archeologist to fall off the couch with a thud.

"Karma," Jack mumbled.

"I can't move," Daniel whined from the floor.

"Don't whine, it's unbecoming," Jack snickered and then winced as it jarred his sore abs. "You've had quite a bit of practice complaining though."

"Bite me," Daniel pulled his blanket down to cover himself on the floor, wincing as sore muscles protested.

There was a short knock on the door before Janet stepped into the room, smirking slightly at Daniel on the floor.

"Good, this is where I thought you would be by now," She chuckled. "It's nice to see you exploring your creative side Teal'c."

Teal'c nodded in response and his lips curved up slightly as he placed the small PlayDoh dog next to the house.


	4. Crossroads: Forgiveness

**Crossroads: Forgiveness **

Teal'c opened his eyes at the sound of the cautious knock on his door. Pushing aside the deep weariness that settled in his mind, he unfolded his legs and with a few long strides reached the door.

"Daniel Jackson," Teal'c nodded at the archeologist. "Please come in."

"Hi Teal'c," Daniel gave him a faint smile. "I thought you would be in the middle of Kelnoreem and I was wondering if I could join you."

At Teal'c's nod, Daniel sat on the ground, surrounded by candles. He watched the other man sit down across from him, looking for any break in the stoic mask.

"Daniel Jackson, I have the suspicion that you did not come here to Kelnoreem," Teal'c spoke up suddenly, surprising Daniel. "Something is clearly on your mind."

"Okay," Daniel dropped his hands to his knees and stared intently at the flickering candle in front of him. "I know in most cultures, especially warrior cultures, showing emotion is seen as a weakness but you can't continue bottling it up, you'll explode."

"I have acknowledged the death of a powerful warrior against the Gou'ald and am now looking forward to the future so that Shau'nac's death will not be in vain," Teal'c spoke softly, sounding rehearsed.

"You loved her," Daniel said, watching Teal'c eyes harden.

"I have a wife and a son," Teal'c replied, the harshness barely noticeable. "To love a priestess would dishonor them."

"My wife was given to me as a present at first and even though we began our relationship unable to even speak the same language and from completely different worlds, I loved her with all my heart," Teal'c had never heard Daniel speak with such passion, his eyes flashing brightly. "You can not decide who to love. You were not supposed to love a priestess and I was not supposed to love a woman I had just met on a different planet but we did, and they loved us."

"Daniel Jackson, I do not believe the death of Shau'nac and the murder of your wife is in any way the same," Teal'c said softly, sadness obvious in his voice.

"Do not do that Teal'c. I do not blame you for her death, not at all. Sha're spoke to me through her hand device and asked me to forgive you. I could not even picture forgiving you for so long because I was so angry. I had lost so much and the idea that a friend had taken something else from me was unimaginable.

I forgive you, Sha're forgives you, and I want you to forgive yourself. Sha're was trapped by that monster and you freed her. She was a casualty in the war against the Gou'ald, much like Shau'nac, but they were not simply warriors and we should not simply remember them as such.

There were days after Sha're died that I felt like I couldn't breathe, ever. The idea of never seeing her again was devastating and I hated everyone and everything for not saving her. I hated the team, the Abydonians and myself for not trying hard enough. Now that she's gone, I can grieve. It was no one's fault but the man who stole her. The same goes for Shau'nac, this was in no way your fault but Tanith's. She deserves to be mourned as your love, not simply pushed aside."

"Daniel Jackson, you are a unbelievably good person," Teal'c bowed his head at his friend. "I do not deserve to be forgiven, especially not by you."

"Mistakes are made Teal'c," Daniel said, giving him a sad smile. "I often wonder what would have happened if Sha're had come with us to the cartouche room, or what would have happened if she was able to be saved after she had Shifu. Then I realize, that it could have been far worse. Ryan could have been killed in the initial attack of Abydos or she could have been forced to kill her loved ones. That would have destroyed her, and I know she died with a little bit of her soul and spirit intact. She died Sha're, not a shell of a former human."

Teal'c throat closed and his stomach churned. He had stepped through the Stargate with only one goal in mind, to find a host for Apophis's queen. He would never have noticed firing his staff weapon into a cradle.

"Shau'nac and I fell in love when I was a very young man, just into my training, and she had begun her training as a priestess. Although we knew that the relationship would be highly discouraged we met in secret at night along the stunning lakes of Chulak. They have a mineral in them that make them the most spectacular turquoise color; Major Carter would enjoy studying it.

Eventually, it became time for her to swear her oaths to Apophis and become a priestess. It was our last chance so I proposed that we run away and be with each other. Shau'nac refused and took her oaths, not wanting to anger the gods. We fell away from each other and soon I had married Drey'auc. I had not remembered how I had felt until I saw Shau'nac again, and now she is dead."

Daniel was silent for a while, slightly stunned that his usually silent teammate had shared such a private moment in his life.

"You loved her dearly," Daniel stared into the dark eyes of his friend. "As I loved Sha're. I am still mourning, I think about her everyday but I've come to peace with it. I will always love my wife and she will always be an important part of my life but I want to stay here and fight so that no one will be able to go through the torment that she did. Once the Gou'ald are completely destroyed, then I feel like I will be completely at peace."

"As will I Daniel Jackson, once the Jaffa are freed from the primta Shau'nac will not have died in vain," Teal'c nodded and smiled slightly.

At that moment, the two heartbroken men connected. Teal'c had always admired Daniel for his courage but now, experiencing what the young man had gone through, he saw the archeologist in a whole new light.

"Thank you Daniel Jackson, I am honored to have you as a friend," Daniel's face lit up with a smile and he fidgeted with his jacket.

"I'm honored to have you as a friend as well," The archeologist looked him in the eye and grinned. "Now, what do you say we make a trip to get some ice cream? I think there's a Marble Slab nearby."

"That sounds wonderful Daniel Jackson," Teal'c bowed his head and followed his friend out of the room.


	5. Divide and Conquer: Maybes

**Divide and Conquer: Maybes**

**Author's Note: Wow, I'm really sorry how long it has taken me to post this! I've been crazy busy at school, I'm a neuroscience major and it's one of the busier majors at my school so I'm constantly studying or trying to sleep. I don't know when the next chapter will be up but I'm out of school in about three weeks! So expect something then! I promise! :)**

Sam went through her locker, throwing away old powerbars and ancient bags of trail mix. She should have left hours ago but could not bear to be alone with her thoughts, or with Jack.

"Hey," She glanced up to see Daniel, still wearing his suit. "Cleaning out your locker?"

"Yeah," Sam muttered, wincing at the thickness in her voice. "I'm tired of looking at all the crap in here, thought I would clean it out while I had the chance."

"I'm sorry about Martouf," Daniel muttered. "I knew you were close to him and he was a great person. He did not deserve to die that way."

"Thank you," She whispered, feeling her eyes burn. "Are you staying on base?"

"Yeah," Daniel pulled off his suit jacket and placed it on a hanger. "SG-3 brought in a tablet a couple days ago and I might as well look at it. Ryan has a cot set up in my office so we'll just stay here."

"Oh yeah, now that summer has hit you have to entertain Ryan all the time," Sam gave him a small smile.

"Yeah, it's nice having him around all the time but its been a little hard to work," He continued to fidget with his jacket before hanging it up.

"Why don't you go home for the weekend?" Sam asked. "I'm sure the translation can wait a couple of days."

"Maybe," Daniel gave her a shaky smile. "Can…can I ask you a question?"

"Sure," Sam turned away from her locker and gave her friend he full attention.

"Do the maybes keep you awake?" Sam would have smiled at the question but Daniel's eyes were wide and slightly panicked. "I know this is stupid but I can't sleep. I don't remember the last time I was able to sleep all the way through."

"What kind of maybes?" Sam asked and Daniel's face darkened.

"Never mind, it's nothing," He muttered, grabbing his uniform out of his locker.

"Daniel, you're upset. Talk to me," Sam tried to give him a reassuring smile but knew it wasn't reaching her eyes. Daniel's eyes locked on to her's and he sighed.

"I honestly don't know why I am still working here. Everything could go wrong; I think we're just lucky. During the raid on Abydos, Ryan's crib could have been shot with a staff blast, when Ma'chello took my body he could have easily killed him, Hathor could have done something, hell she could have told me to do it and I probably would. But, this week, I had Ryan on base since school was out. Both you and Jack saw him and I thought you were za'tarcs and what if being around Ryan had set you off.

Every day, every mission, could potentially hurt him. We have enemies even here on Earth and they could take him. I couldn't live with myself if I lost him. He is all I have left of Sha're and I would not survive losing him. I'm just afraid the luck will run out." His voice tapered off into a slightly hitched breath.

"Daniel, I didn't know you felt that way," Sam pulled him into a hug and rubbed his back. "You know we wouldn't let anything happen to him or to you."

"I have no reason to be here," Daniel murmured, feeling his chest tighten. "My wife is dead and all I'm doing is putting myself and my son in danger. I hate feeling constantly afraid. I should just have gotten a teaching job at a university, at least I wouldn't be threatened with death every other day."

"Daniel," Sam pulled back, teary eyes locking with his. "There is a very good reason that the military is not supposed to get too personal. It's supposed to keep us from our judgment being clouded but you are my family. God, Daniel you are as close to me as a brother Teal'c and…the colonel are closer than they should be."

Daniel's eyebrows knitted together when her eyes flicked to the side at the mention of Jack. Realization then dawned in his eyes and his eyes widened.

"Was that why you both failed the test?" He asked softly, leaning in.

"What? No!" Sam felt her cheeks burning. "The colonel is my superior, I don't…feel anything for him."

"Uh huh," The teasing light sprung into his eyes.

"If you spread, that completely false rumor, I will tell Nurse Lindsay that you adore her and want nothing more than to spend forever with her," Sam smirked at Daniel's shudder of disgust at the mention of the overly handsy nurse.

"I never said anything," Daniel held his hands up. He gave Sam a small smile before jumping into the changing room.

Sam couldn't resist the silly grin spreading across her face, forcing it down when Daniel appeared in his uniform.

"I'm going to go work on my translation," He motioned to the door, placing his other clothes in his locker. "Let me know if you want to get something to eat, I'm sure Ryan will be wanting to run around soon."

"Okay," Sam nodded and just as he was turning called out to him. "Daniel, don't forget how important you are to everyone. I feel like I would lose a bit of myself if we lost you but we need to destroy the Gou'ald, for everything they've done. I know you're afraid that something will happen to Ryan but know that someone would hurt him over my dead body.

Also, I do think about the maybes and they scare the hell out of me. But they didn't happen. Enjoy life the way it is without thinking about what could have happened. Let go of the worry about how Ryan could have been hurt and see him today. He's a beautiful, healthy, smart boy and next thing you know he'll be all grown up. It'll be a shame if you spent his childhood worrying about what could have happened."

"Thanks Sam," He gave her a true smile from the doorway. "And Sam, I think he knows and I think he feels the same. Life is too short to not go for these things, believe me I know."

The two shared a smile before he continued to his office. Sam grinned, closed her locker, and pulled her jacket on. She continued to her lab to see Jack playing with one of the machines.

"Hey colonel, I would have thought you would have gone home by now," She said, pulling the device out of his hands.

"I would have but Hammond is making me write up my report before I leave," Jack sighed. "I swear that man is trying to torture me."

"Yes, doing your job is cruel and unreasonable, in fact it's unconstitutional," Jack laughed and Sam felt a smile spread across her face. "So, why are you procrastinating here?"

"I tried to hang out in Daniel's office before he escaped to the locker room but he was downright rude," Jack sat down heavily on the wheelie chair, spinning around. "Something about 'already having one child to deal with'."

"I guess you can stay in here," She shrugged. "Just don't touch anything."

"Wouldn't dream of it Carter," Jack quipped, smiling at her.


	6. Window of Opportunity: Loops

Window of Opportunity: Loops

"Uncle Jack," Ryan announced from his side, pulling on his leather jacket. "Daddy told me he would get me at the end of the day and you picked me up before lunch. I don't think I'm supposed to leave the daycare."

"You're just like your dad, always worrying," Jack scoffed and sat down on a park bench, lifting the boy and seating him on the bench next to him. A sudden buzz in his jacket pocket and a chime made him grin. "Speak of the devil!"

"Jack, where is my kid?" Daniel snapped even before Jack said anything. "I get a call saying you took him out, aren't you not supposed to leave? Fraiser's orders?"

"Well, well Daniel, someone needs a break," Jack grinned down at Ryan who was staring up at him curiously. "And you're going to come down to the park or else I might just keep him for myself."

"Jack, I don't have time for this," Daniel sighed. "I'm trying to figure out the tablet that YOU brought back saying it was so important."

"Yeah, but I decided to take this loop off, plus you've been working really hard and you need a break so you have fifteen minutes doctor, and that's an order," Jack snapped his phone shut and chuckled.

"Let's get you a hot dog kiddo," Jack grabbed Ryan's hand and led the kid to a nearby hotdog vendor. After buying two hotdogs, one plain and one with everything on it, they sat down on a bench and waited for Daniel.

Jack had lost track of how many cycles he had gone through. After goofing off several times, riding his bike through the SGC, playing golf through the Stargate and nailing all of Daniel's furniture to his celling, he had gotten kind of bored with the monotony. On the last cycle, he had bought Ryan a pony and left it for him in Daniel's office. The little boy's eyes widened as soon as he walked into the room, his squeal of delight drowned out but Daniel's shouting.

He almost missed Ryan's hurt glance towards his father as Daniel continued to yell at Jack.

The guilt had shot through him like lightning when he realized that Daniel hadn't been spending much time with his son. The way Ryan clung to his father every time he saw him, the separation anxiety, and the fact that Ryan was distancing himself from everyone suddenly made sense.

"Jack!" The colonel glanced up to see the irate scientist stalking towards him. "I thought you were supposed to be on base! Why did you practically kidnap my son?"

"Danny!" Jack grinned and waved his half of a hot dog at him. Daniel raised his eyebrow and with a scowl, brushed the crumbs off of Ryan's t-shirt. "Well, I thought you needed some time off and it seemed like a perfect time to spend time with your boy here."

"Seriously? You were all adamant about this tablet and learning Latin and now you want me to not do anything? I have a lot of stuff to do at work Jack!" Daniel waved his hands in the air.

"When was the last time you spent time with Ryan by yourself?" Jack's smile all but vanished and Daniel's frown faded until he simply looked confused. "It seems like you never have 'family time', he's either in Day Care or we're all together. Go spend time with your kid."

"But..." Daniel glanced down to see the wide blue eyes staring back at him and visibly deflated. "Alright, I'll see you later Jack."

"Awesome!" Jack grinned, snatching the car keys out of the archeologist's hands and walking towards the jeep. He knew Daniel wouldn't remember this in a couple of hours but at least it was something. The constant repeating allowed Daniel to take this cycle off as well and be with his son for at least a few hours without thinking of work.

"Can we go to the fountain?" Ryan asked, tugging on his father's hand. Daniel smiled down at his son and followed him towards the splash fountain in the middle of the park. Several children were already there, playing with the nozzles that would randomly shoot water up.

Ryan let out a shriek of laughter and sprinted towards the water. Daniel stayed back with the other parents and smiled as Ryan ran from nozzle to nozzle, giggling at the spray of water.

Daniel's smile slightly faded when he remembered Jack's words and folded his arms over his chest. He honestly could not remember the last time he had spent time with his son. With a pang, he realized that soon Ryan wouldn't want to spend time with his dad and yet he was almost avoiding him.

As Ryan started running at him Daniel gently lowered the toe of his shoe on one of the nozzles and sprayed water directly at the little boy who screamed and jumped back.

"Daddy!" Ryan laughed and was suddenly scooped up by his father. Ryan continued to let out shrieks of laughter as Daniel moved him directly over the nozzles and soaked him. Ryan squirmed free and pressed his hands to a nozzle, shooting the water at Daniel who stumbled back laughing.

Once the two of them were completely soaked, they both collapsed into the warm grass. Ryan tackled his father but Daniel tickled him mercilessly until tears of laughter mixed with the water on his face. Daniel glanced down at his grinning son and felt a sharp pang in his chest, _he had Sha're's smile. _

Although he wouldn't admit it to anyone, the reason he was avoiding his son was because he looked too much like his late wife. When he was working or with his team then he wouldn't see the little things that reminded him of Sha're. Now, he just felt incredibly guilty that his selfishness had hurt Ryan.

"Do you want an ice cream?" He asked and smiled at Ryan's excited nod. As they stood to walk to the ice cream truck, there was a sudden flash of white light.

"What do you think?" Daniel asked, staring at Jack who groaned loudly, glaring at his Fruit Loops. "You okay Jack?"

"Peachy keen," Jack muttered, shoving back his bowl and stalking out of the commissary leaving behind his bewildered teammates.

"Hey Daniel," Jack grinned at his best friend who was working, as usual. "Why are you still working?"

"SG-11 brought in this amazing tablet that could possibly relate to Babylonian mythology," Daniel murmured without looking up.

"But the looping has stopped and Hammond is giving us a break from traveling," Jack plucked the pen from the scientist's hand. "Go home and spend time with your kid."

"Jack! This is important!" Daniel scrambled to get his pen.

"And that is why you hired a bunch of other guys to do the same thing you do," Jack spun the younger man around in his chair. "Also, when was the last time you spent time with Ryan, just you and him?"

It was like playing a movie clip over and over again. Just like every other time they had had this conversation Daniel's eyes flicked to the side and he frowned.

"But..." Daniel tried to explain himself but ended up sighing and running his hand through his hair. "You're right."

"I know," Jack flicked off the desk light. "Go home."

"Alright, I'll see you later Jack," Daniel pulled his jacket on and smiled warmly at his commanding officer.

Jack smiled back and prayed that this would be the last time he had this conversation with his friend, they had had it too many times.


	7. Watergate: Coming Home

Watergate: Coming Home

Janet kept a tight hold on Ryan's hand in the baggage claim of the airport. The small boy want hopping up and down, trying to see who was walking through the revolving glass door.

Ever since the intercom had announced that the flight from Moscow had landed, Ryan had been so excited he could hardly contain himself. The team had been in Russia for two weeks helping them with their problems with the gate and Ryan was desperate to see his father and sleep in his own bed again.

"DADDY!" The scream startled Janet so badly that she dropped his hand and watched as he sprinted to the obviously exhausted team.

"Hey bud!" Daniel grinned and scooped up his son, giving him a tight hug. "I missed you so much!"

"I missed you, I missed you!" Ryan kept mumbling, burying his face in his father's shoulder and wrapped his arms around his neck. "Don't go away again!"

"Come on, I wasn't gone that long," Daniel rubbed his back soothingly. "I probably would have been back sooner if someone didn't insist on riding a commercial flight."

"I simply wanted to experience an everyday Earth activity," Teal'c replied, raising his eyebrow.

"Did you enjoy it?" Sam asked, yawning.

"I did not," Teal'c frowned getting a small chuckle from Jack.

"I brought you a present if that helps?" Daniel tried and Ryan's head snapped up with a wide grin.

"Let's get you all home," Janet spoke up, giving Sam a quick hug hello. "You must be exhausted."

"Let me tell you doc, a combination of the stress of the mission, the fact that no one could speak the language except Daniel, and the jet lag has left me feeling completely dead on my feet," Jack mumbled, looking through the bags as they went down the carousel.

"Who learns Russian anyway?" Sam grinned at her friend. "How often do you even use it?"

"Hey! It is the most commonly spoken Eurasian language!" Daniel looked scandalized by the question. "Also, it's in the same family as Czech which I learned because my mother was Czech. It is useful!"

"But how often do you use it today?" Jack asked and smiled at Daniel's glare.

"Can I have my present?" Ryan piped up.

"You can some," Daniel smiled and reached into his carry on laptop bag and pulled out a small wrapped candy. "It's called Korovka, which means little cow in Russia."

"Seriously?" Jack's nose crinkled in disgust. "Why would they call them that?"

"Jack it's a cultural candy, besides I thought you liked them," Daniel grinned unwrapping two candies, one for Ryan and one for himself. "You ate pretty much four bags on the plane ride."

"Well, they weren't called a little cow then," Jack mumbled, ruffling Ryan's hair. The little boy smiled up and went immediately back to enjoying the treat.

"Can I go to Russia with you daddy?" Ryan grabbed at his father's hand as they walked out of the airport. "I really really want to go!"

"Well, you'll have to learn Russian first Ryan. Then you can use it the one time you go there," Jack snickered as Daniel turned to glare.

"Maybe when you're older buddy, and there isn't a threat of there being a war," Daniel shifted his bag to one side and scooped Ryan up in his arms. "I really did miss you."

"I missed you too!" Ryan hugged his father again, not letting go. "Can we go to the museum tomorrow?"

"Of course! And we can grab lunch and maybe go get you some new clothes, your pants look a little short," The archeologist rubbed his son's back, feeling the stress of the past two weeks wash away as he held onto his son. It had been the longest he had ever been away from Ryan and during the last couple days he could hardly think he missed him so much. "It'll be just to two of us."


	8. The First Ones: Changing

The First Ones: Changing

"I'm fine General," Daniel waved off the older man and the medical team. "I'm just tired, sore, hungry, and have a nasty cut but otherwise I'm just super."

"He even made a new friend! Daniel is the newest member of an Unas clan," Jack clapped his friend on the back and led him past the gurney. "Just stitch him up doc and we'll get him a steak dinner and he'll be right as rain!"

Janet smiled and nodded but didn't look completely convinced he was perfectly fine. She led the team to the infirmary, pleased to see that Daniel was smiling and chatting with everyone else.

"Hey, where's Robert? Is he still back on P3X-888?" Daniel turned to Jack, still smiling.

"Oh," Jack's smile vanished instantly. "I'm sorry Daniel, I thought you knew. Dr. Rothman was possessed by a Gou'ald, we didn't know until he attacked us and he was killed. I'm so sorry, I knew he was your friend."

Daniel's grin slid off his face and he paled faintly. The previously healthy, happy man became unsteady and withdrawn.

"Let's get that cut taken care of Daniel," Janet motioned him towards the first bed. The other members of SG-1 quickly moved to their beds for the post mission exam, worried about their friend.

"It doesn't look infected but keep the bandage on it and let me know if it gets inflamed," Janet threw away her gloves and turned back towards the upset archeologist. "Just go home, take an aspirin and get some sleep. You'll feel better in the morning."

"Yeah probably," Daniel gave her a fake smile. "Thanks Janet."

Daniel jumped off the bed and hurried out the door only to be grabbed by Jack as soon as he stepped out of the infirmary.

"Hey! I was going to go work on those artifacts! It's the Gou'ald's homeworld Jack!" Daniel complained as Jack pulled him to the parking garage with the rest of the team preventing his escape form behind. "It's important!"

"We are going back to your apartment and we are going to order Chinese," Jack announced. "You were just captured and battered around by a huge alien creature and lost two of the team who went with you, take a break!"

Daniel stopped struggling after than and walked slowly to Jack's car, hopping into the passenger's side. Sam and Teal'c slid into the backseat and sat silently as they pulled out of the garage.

"I can't imagine how horrible it must have been to have been held captive by that creature" Sam started softly, going quiet when the archeologist spun around in his seat, a dark glare on his face.

"Chaka saved my life Sam. I tried to escape him by jumping into the water not knowing that it was full of Gou'ald symbiotes and he protected me. Without him I might be where Robert is now, laying in the morgue with a bullet wound in the front of my head and a entrance wound in the back of my neck. And I've known Robert since before we went to Abydos for the first time," Daniel's voice cracked and he looked down, slightly ashamed.

"He was one of the only guys who was interested in my work and tried to help me through the translations. He was such a brilliant scientist and we worked on so many projects together, many I wouldn't have figured out without him. It seems so unfair that he had to die because of a misunderstanding between two cultures and a horrible accident.

I know my role is changing here. I went from being a laughed at, mocked, and completely disrespected scientist to a serious, hard-assed soldier. Robert kept me as the person I was, and now everyone will only see me as a soldier and that part of my life is gone. I won't be the person my parents raised me to be, or the man Sha're fell in love with or the father I want Ryan to have."

Complete silence flooded the car as Daniel stared ahead, feeling drained and upset.

A warm weight rested on his shoulder and the archeologist glanced over to see Teal'c large hand. The Jaffa squeezed Daniel's shoulder and leaned back.

"Daniel Jackson, when I first met you I didn't know what to think. You were nothing like a traditional Jaffa soldier and I perceived you as weak and not worthy of my respect. I was proven wrong. You live life so passionately and have a heart so full of hope and goodness. Although you have improved greatly in the military aspect, you have never lost who you were. I still see you living with such passion and working so hard to give to others that you often go without. I have never met your parents but I cannot imagine how they would not be incredibly proud of the person you have become but I have met Sha're and Ryan and know that they both loved you dearly. No amount of military training would change that." Teal'c spoke softly.

"Thank you Teal'c," Daniel whispered.

Jack pulled up into Daniel's apartment's parking garage and turned off the car. He reached over and ruffled his young friend's hair.

"You're still a dork to me Daniel," He smiled, grinning when the archeologist smiled back.


	9. Scorched Earth: Arachnophobia

**Scorched Earth: Arachnophobia**

**Author's Note: Ugh, I really wanted to post this earlier but I made the huge mistake of taking ten hours worth of summer school classes. So, I'll hopefully get the next chapter out soon if four hours of calculus a day don't kill me!**

Yawning, Jack pushed back the tent flap and threw himself onto his bed roll. Daniel let out a soft moan and turned over before continuing to snore softly.

After their last mission, Hammond sent the team to an uninhabited planet that showed some rare minerals in the soil. It was green, lush, and the weather was perfect which made it more like a vacation than a mission.

"Psst," Jack hissed, noticing that Daniel had rolled over onto his side of the tent. "Move over sleepyhead."

Daniel mumbled, and rolled over slowly. The younger man curled up into a tight ball and pulled his blanket up to his chin. Jack chuckled as he pulled his own blanket, closing his eyes.

Just as he was beginning to drift off to sleep, a sudden movement over his legs startled him.

Jack's eyes snapped open and he sat up quickly only to freeze. Perched on Daniel was a huge spider. The creature was at least the size of a small dog and covered in coarse black hair.

The spider looked back at him and clicked its mandibles, moving farther up Daniel's side.

Then all hell broke loose.

Jack let out a sharp yelp which woke up Daniel. As soon as the younger man was aware enough he turned his head and was met with eight black eyes. Scurrying backwards in a panic, Daniel hit the supporting pole of the tent causing it to crash around them.

Both men struggled to detangle themselves from their blankets and the tent before stumbling out into the campsite.

"Sir!" Sam was standing, eyes wide. "Are you both alright? What happened?"

"Are you in danger?" Teal'c asked, activating his staff weapon.

At that moment the spider scurried from the destroyed tent, running over Jack's feet. Both the colonel and Daniel let out embarrassing squeaks, jumping away from the obviously terrified creature.

"What the hell was that?" Daniel asked, breathless.

"Did it attack you? Were you bitten?" Sam stared into the darkness where the spider had disappeared, lowering her gun.

"Well, no," Jack mumbled, feeling his face heat up.

"So, you woke up and saw a spider which caused you to destroy the camp?" Her lips twitched into a smile.

"I wouldn't have woken up if Jack didn't scream!" Daniel defended himself.

"It was freaking huge! It startled me!" Jack yelled over Sam's laughter.

"Yes sir, of course," The major snickered and Teal'c smiled faintly.

"Daddy!" Ryan grinned and sprinted into the office, closely followed by Sam.

"Hey kiddo, did you have fun with Aunt Sam at the museum?" Daniel ruffled his son's hair and put his pen down.

"Yeah! We looked at lots of stuff, it was fun," Ryan then reached into the plastic bag he held. "We got you a present!"

He handed his father a large rubber spider.

"Cute Sam," Daniel smiled at his teammate who was shaking with laughter. "Come one Ryan, let's go hide it in Uncle Jack's office."


	10. Beneath the Surface: Triggers

**Beneath the Surface: Triggers**

_ "Daddy?" Karlan jumped and spun around._

_ A small boy stood behind him, blue eyes shimmering with tears in the darkness. He was dressed strangely in a bright red shirt and dark trousers._

_ "Who are you?" Karlan asked and the boy grinned._

_ "Stop being silly daddy," He shook his head and stepped farther back into the darkness of the machines._

_ "It's dangerous back there" Karlan warned but the boy simply smiled._

_ "When are you coming home? You've been gone a very long time," The child's smile faded and he looked sad._

_ A sudden grinding noise startled Karlan and he looked up to see the machine above him swaying. He opened his mouth to warn the boy but the horrible sound of shrieking metal drowned out his cry as it fell onto the boy._

"No! Ryan!" Karlan shot up violently, tears staining his face.

"Karlan? What's the matter?" Kegan asked, dark eyes wide with worry.

"Nothing," He said, his voice hitching. "A nightmare. Don't worry about it."

"Who is Ryan?" Her eyes turned curious and she leaned back onto her mat. "You cried out the name when you woke."

"I don't know," Karlan scrubbed his hand through his hair and rubbed at his beard. "I'm even forgetting the dream. Don't worry yourself, it was nothing."

Kegan raised her eyebrows but he simply gave her a tight lipped smile. Karlan quickly laid back down and turned away from her, ignoring her sigh.

Something was wrong. The name Ryan tugged at something deep inside of him and brought tears to his eyes. Karlan's shoulder's shook with sobs as he closed his eyes tightly, the image of smiling blue eyes dancing behind them.

Everywhere Karlan looked for the next few days brought the memory of that dream up and he had begun to loose sleep. The young man had always considered himself a hard worker but the lack of sleep and stress was decreasing his productivity. Also the strange business with Jonah, Thera and Tor was keeping him from fully concentrating on his duties.

"Karlan?" He looked up slowly from the soggy porridge to see grey hair and smiling eyes. "Do you mind if I sit with you?"

"Yeah," Karlan motioned to the opposite seat with his spoon and turned back to his lunch. "Go ahead."

"Thanks!" Jonah plopped his tray down on the table and sat down heavily. "So, as weird as this might sound, does everything just not feel...right?"

"Like a constant uneasiness? Yes," Karlan looked at the suddenly serious other man. "Does the name Ryan mean anything to you?"

"No," Jonah said after a long pause. "I mean it sound familiar but I can't place it. What about Homer?"

"That does sound familiar, is he a writer?" Karlan sat up straighter.

"No, we're obviously not thinking of the same person," He looked disappointed.

Jonah sighed heavily and dipped his spoon in his porridge. Glancing up, he was held captivated for a moment by Karlan's eyes. Most of the workers looked the same, dark hair and eyes, but Karlan's eyes were the most vibrant blue. An image of a laughing little boy came suddenly to mind and he dropped his spoon.

"Is Ryan a child?"

"I think so!" Karlan looked up surprised. "A small boy with blue eyes?"

"Yes!" Jonah nodded vigorously.

"Something is not right at all," Karlan scanned the room and tried to place the image of the boy who felt like he meant the world to him.


	11. The Point of No Return: Red Folders

**Point of No Return: Red Folders **

**Author's Note: I didn't want to use a real school in Colorado Springs. I just picked out a random name so if for some weird reason it's your name, I promise I'm not stalking you.**

"Do you have the list?" Daniel asked as he put his jeep into park. "We can get through this super fast and go grab ice cream."

"I've got it!" Ryan waved the neon green paper, 'Phillip Remley Elementary Kindergarten Supply List' written in cartoonish font across the top.

The archaeologist had to keep his over enthusiastic son from bolting to the huge office supply store. He was completely exhausted from the whole Martin ordeal and the idea of going through a huge store for school supplies on his day off was the last thing he wanted to do.

"Good afternoon sir!" A bubbly teen aged girl grinned at them. "Are you looking for anything in particular? Is there anything I can help you find?"

"Ah, no," Daniel smiled back and shook his head. "We're just looking for school supplies. Thank you though." "Well, don't hesitate to ask for any help! That's what we're here for," She enthused, still grinning wildly.

"Daddy," Ryan piped up as Daniel grabbed a bright blue shopping cart. "Why didn't you give her the list? She could have helped up."

"Well, we can find all this stuff ourselves. If we get stuck then we'll ask," Ryan paused for a moment then nodded. "Okay, let me see the list."

For the first time, Daniel understood Jack's frustration.

Ryan was as particular as his father in everything they picked out. The pencils all had to be closely examined, all the sample pens tested, and all of the glue sticks were laid out to more easily compare.

"Okay, a red folder," Daniel read out loud as he pushed the half way full cart up to a display of multicolored folders. He grabbed at the first folder and placed it in the cart, sighing as Ryan frowned.

"That's orange," The four year old announced.

"There are no more red ones, orange is the closest," Daniel tried to move on but Ryan simply scowled.

"But it said red," He argued.

"But there's only orange," Daniel tried again but Ryan's blue eyes simply narrowed.

"Fine," Ryan snapped before spinning on his heel and sprinted out of the aisle. Daniel jumped in surprise before leaving the cart and following his son.

"I need a red folder but there are none left," He heard Ryan explaining to the perky employee.

"Alright, we might have some in the back," She smiled at the little boy. "Just let me check sweetie."

"That wasn't so hard," Ryan rolled his eyes at his father who had just run up to him.

"For cryin' out loud," Daniel muttered.


	12. Tangent: Kindergarten

**Tangent: Kindergarten**

"Wake up!" A blur of blue pajamas slammed into the archeologist's side. Daniel woke up abruptly, wheezing for air.

"What?" He sat up, rubbing at his side. "What's going on?"

"It's time for school!" Ryan grinned at his father. His hair stuck up in every direction but he looked absolutely ecstatic.

"Ryan, it's five o'clock. School doesn't start until eight-thirty. Go back to bed and I'll wake you up at seven-thirty," Daniel mumbled, cracking his eyes open to see his deeply disappointed son.

"Oh, okay," Ryan slowly slid off the bed and padded quietly to his room.

For a moment Daniel felt guilty for sending his son away but then the pull of sleep made him fall back into his soft sheets and fall asleep.

The moment his alarm rang at seven-thirty, Daniel could hear Ryan's feet coming towards his room.

"Can we go to school now?" He asked softly.

"Why don't you let me take a quick shower," Daniel swung his feet over the side of the bed. "I'll be right out and we'll get ready, okay?"

"Okay!" Ryan's face lit up.

Daniel couldn't help but smile when he stepped into the kitchen and saw Ryan sitting at the table fully dressed.

After a quick breakfast of cheerios, Ryan was dragging his father towards the door with one hand and his backpack with the other.

"Why are you so excited to get to school," Daniel asked amused as he started the car. "You know, most kids don't want to go."

"Well, I just don't want to be late," Ryan shrugged, staring out the windows.

Daniel noticed that Ryan's excited smile faded slightly as they neared the school and replaced by a worried frown when they parked.

"Alright! Let's go!" Daniel grinned back but Ryan looked up at the big building worriedly. it was much bigger than his three room preschool and there were tons of children milling around with their parents.

"Maybe we should come back next year, there's too many kids," The four-year old mumbled, grabbing his father's hand.

"Oh come on, you're going to have a great time! All these kids might also become your friends," Daniel almost had to pull his son towards the school.

The pair followed the signs leading them to his classroom and Ryan grew even more withdrawn as they approached the door.

"Why hello there," A middle-aged woman smiled brightly at them. "I'm Mrs. Keller, you're teacher. Who might you be?"

"Ryan," Ryan mumbled, turning into Daniel's legs.

"Hi, I'm Daniel Jackson, his father," Daniel shook the teacher's hand.

"It's very nice to meet both of you," Mrs. Keller, beamed down at her new student. "Ryan, you can put your backpack in your cubby and find your desk."

Ryan found his cubby easily, placing his red backpack in the small hole. He then stayed behind with Daniel and stared out into the brightly colored room.

"What's wrong? Let's go find your desk?" Daniel crouched down next to his son.

"Lucy and Eric aren't here," He mumbled. "They have a different teacher and I don't know anybody."

"Well, you'll make new friends and you'll see Lucy and Eric at recess," Daniel rubbed his son's back. "Let's go find your desk and meet the new kid next to you."

He led Ryan towards the desk with his name written on it in bright green letters. A small boy sat in the chair next to him, picking at the tape on the name tag.

"Hi!" Daniel smiled brightly at the boy. "This is Ryan, he'll be sitting next to you. What's your name?"

"I'm Ben," The boy smiled.

Ryan opened up, smiling back and let go of his father's hand.

"Alright, I'll pick you up at three. Have fun," He hugged his son and dropped a quick kiss on Ryan's forehead.

"Bye daddy," Ryan gave his father a quick wave and turned back to his new friend.

Daniel was almost taken aback by the sudden turnabout. For years Ryan had always loved being around him and he loved spending time with his son but Daniel could see that changing.

He hovered with a couple other teary parents before making his way to his car. As Daniel slid into his jeep, he looked back at the elementary school and that's when it hit him hard.

_ Elementary School_

Ryan was in elementary school. He was turning five in a few months. He would be entering middle school in six years and high school in nine.

Suddenly Daniel needed a large coffee.


	13. The Curse: Catharsis

**The Curse: Catharsis**

**Author's Note: Ugh, sorry about the wait. I thought I was going to be able to post more often and then I signed up for Organic Chemistry. **

"And then Ben and I worked on our alphabet and Mrs. Keller said that my A's were the best. She gave me a sticker. But then she said that Ben's lowercase a's were really good too. Then I played on the jungle gym with Lucy and Eric but we all had to go in because Paul fell and started bleeding and Tina threw up," Ryan listed off.

"Poor Paul," Daniel switched his phone to the other ear. He noticed that he was nearing the lab he was heading to and sighed. "Listen buddy, I'm sorry but I have to get to a meeting."

"Aw," Ryan sounded disappointed. "When will you be back?"

"In a couple weeks," Daniel felt a smile tug at his lips as he stepped into the room. "Listen, I have to go. I love you."

"I love you too!" Ryan said back before he disconnected the call.

"Sorry about that," Daniel smiled at a grinning Sarah and a sullen looking Steven. "It's so good to see you two!"

"You look great Daniel," Sarah pulled him into a tight hug. "Who was that you were talking too? You're not one to say love too quick."

"That was actually my son, Ryan," He grinned and brought up a picture on his phone. "He's four. He's staying with a friend while I'm here."

"He's adorable," Sarah squealed, showing the picture to Steven. "So, the great Daniel Jackson finally settled down?"

"Well," Daniel felt the same ache he always did when he thought of Sha're. "My wife actually passed away last year, Ryan and I have been on our own since."

"Oh God Daniel, I am so sorry," Sarah squeezed his hand, blue eyes bright with sympathy.

"Yes, sorry for your loss," Steven mumbled, glancing down at the floor.

"Thank you both," Daniel smiled at the two of them. "So you brought me down here to look at some artifacts?"

"Steven," Daniel stood at the foot of his bed dressed in fatigues. The other archeologist scowled and continued to stare up at the ceiling. "You know that you can't ever speak of what you saw."

"It's just not fair," Steven laughed humorously, glaring at the younger man. "You have everything."

"Excuse me?" Daniel raised his eyebrows. Ever since they had saved Steven from Osiris and brought him back to the SGC to recover he had been unmanageable.

"You got into an incredible college at sixteen. You caught Dr. Jordan's eye and became his favorite. Then Sarah fell for you and I was overlooked again. I thought it would get better once you came up with those stupid ideas but no, they were true and you became the hero again. Not only are you highly respected but you're a hero. And it doesn't stop there! Now you tell me you are married and have an adorable kid? Seriously?" Steven's chest heaved and his eyes flashed.

"Are you done?" Daniel's blue eyes hardened. "I got to those places because I worked my ass off. I went to college early to escape foster care and caught Dr. Jordan's eye because I was smart and a hard worker. I got to where I am because I, unlike you, had nothing handed to me and reached for everything. You think everything is so easy? I am a single father. That thing that has Sarah had my wife and tortured her for years. I failed in saving her and now my son is motherless. Don't you dare tell me how easy I've got it you spoiled son of a bitch. You have no idea what I've been through in my life."

Daniel spun on his heel and stormed out of the infirmary, running straight into Jack.

"Watch it," He snapped angrily.

"Whoa, you doing okay Daniel?" Jack steadied himself on the younger man's shoulders.

"Yeah," Daniel ran his hand through his hair, exhaling sharply. "I actually feel better. I got a lot off my chest that I had been wanting to say for years."


	14. The Serpent's Venom: Lying

**The Serpent's Venom: Lying**

**Author's Note: So sorry about the long wait! I made the brilliant choice to double major and it turns out that it means more work. Who knew!**

"Dr. Daniel Jackson," Daniel answered his office phone while he shuffled through his papers looking for a particular translation he had done a couple of days ago.

"Dr. Jackson this is Ellen Keller, Ryan's teacher," Daniel put down his paper and frowned, giving the phone his full attention.

"Yes, can I help you Mrs. Keller?"

"I'm afraid we had a slight problem with Ryan at school today," The teacher sighed softly. "I was wondering if you could come down to the school around three and meet with us?"

"Of course," Daniel scribbled down the time on a nearby post-it. "I'll see you then Mrs. Keller."

He hung up the phone and attempted to get back to work but the worry nagged at him for the next few hours. Daniel tapped his pen on the desk and traced his eyes over the hieroglyphics.

Pulling his jacket off the hanger in his closet, he hurried out the door. Ryan had never been in trouble a day in his life so this sudden change was worrying.

"Dr. Jackson," Mrs. Keller met him at the door of the classroom with a warm smile. "I'm so sorry to call you in like this but I really think this should be addressed."

"I'm always happy to come in," He smiled at the sullen Ryan sitting in a small chair near the desk. "What seems to be the problem."

"Well, we had an assignment to draw where you were born," Daniel felt his chest tighten as the teacher pulled a piece of paper. "I was concerned at Ryan's drawing."

The drawing had mostly been scribbled with a tan crayon but the tall peaks of pyramids were obvious, as was the crude drawing of the Stargate.

"He said it was another planet called Abydos? I looked up his records and it says that he was born in Denver," Mrs. Keller frowned slightly. "He is an incredibly intelligent boy, maybe just a little too imaginative."

"Clearly," Daniel stared down at the picture.

"I was born there," Ryan piped up, looking upset.

"Buddy, there is no such thing as Abydos," Daniel stared at him intensely. "You were born in Denver."

"But I went to Abydos, when mommy died," Ryan said sadly.

"We went to Egypt when your mommy died to bury her, maybe that's what you're thinking about," He said softly before turning back to the teacher. "He's always been a bit creative."

"Maybe it's a left over reaction from his mother's death. I know it was a year ago but these things hit children hard," Mrs. Keller looked at the archeologist sympathetically.

"Possibly," Daniel mumbled with a frown.

"I'll keep an eye on his behavior and work to see if any other things show up. I just wanted to let you know," The teacher shook his hand and smiled. "He's a very bright boy and a wonderful student."

"He speaks very highly of your class, he loves it," Daniel clapped his hand on Ryan's shoulder and led him out of the building.

"Daddy, I wasn't lying," Ryan said softly as soon as they got into the car. "You told me that mommy came from a place up in the stars and that's why we went through the Stargate."

"Ryan, you are right. Your mommy came from another planet," Daniel stared at him seriously. "We can't tell anyone about this. No one besides the people at my work know about the other planets and it needs to stay that way. The world is not ready to hear about this."

"But you said that I shouldn't lie," The small boy pouted.

"I know and that is good but this is a secret," Daniel ran a hand through his hair. "It's dangerous if other people know. You have to lie to them to keep everyone, including you, safe."

"I don't like lying," Ryan whispered looking up at his father with wide eyes. "You don't do anything bad. You help people."

"I know, we help people, but you can't tell anyone," Daniel dropped a kiss to his son's head. "But it is very dangerous if anyone finds out. So just this once you can tell a little lie and not get in trouble."

"Okay," Ryan nodded.

"Now, where were you born?"

"Denver, Colorado," The four year old spoke up.

"Good boy! Let's get ice cream."


	15. Chain Reaction: Soccer Moms

**Chain Reaction: Soccer Moms**

**Author's Note: Ack, I know I'm beginning every chapter with this same message but I am in the middle of midterms and am trying to desperately to catch up on my classes. I'm writing now in the middle of finishing a mythology midterm and beginning to study for a ochem midterm. Hell week begins soon so don't expect anything for a bit :(**

"He wants to play soccer?" Jack tried hard not to grin. "Really?"

"He seems really into it," Daniel shrugged as he grabbed a piece of chocolate cake with a grin at the cafeteria worker. "Lucy is joining dance and Eric wants to play soccer. Ryan was feeling left out and it'll be good for him."

"Sorry I'm just picturing you as the classic pee-wee soccer dad," Jack snorted in laughter.

"Are you going to be the dad who carts personalized folding chairs everywhere and wears team colors to every game," Sam pulled out a chair at their table and laughed. "How cute."

"Hey! It'll be a good way for him to learn teamwork, discipline, and he has some much energy now," The archeologist shrugged. "He needs something like this."

"Let's just hope he got more hand-eye coordination than you do," Jack innocently took a bite of his cereal smiling at Daniel's scowl.

"He makes a good point Daniel Jackson. You are not known for being graceful," Teal'c pointed out making Daniel throw his hands up.

"Ignore them Daniel, I'm sure Ryan will be amazing," Sam beamed at him getting a wide grin in response. "When is his first game?"

"Thank you Sam, his first game is next weekend," Daniel took a large bite of cake, smirking at Jack. "His team is the Yellow Jackets."

"Maybe you'll meet some cute soccer moms," Jack teased making Daniel blush slightly.

"Well, now that's always a possibility."


	16. 2010: Glimpse into the Future

**2010: Glimpse into the Future**

**Author's Note: Sorry for the long wait. Freaking finals getting in the way! But I gave y'all a crazy long chapter to make up for it :D**

Melissa Reeves walked down the hallway, her expensive heels clicking loudly on the hardwood floors. She grasped her resume tightly, brimming with excitement as she approached her destination.

_Dr. Daniel Jackson Ph.D SG-1_

When the story of the Stargate Program came out ten years ago she found herself fascinated by SG-1, one Daniel Jackson in particular. After years of hard work she finally got her Ph.D in archeology and was now applying for her dream job, Dr. Jackson's assistant.

Melissa took a deep breath and stepped into the reception room and froze.

A teenaged boy sat at the large reception desk, scribbling something in a notebook. He had his feet up on the desk, converses looking startlingly out of place among the crisp clean lines of the office.

"Can I help you?" He asked, blue eyes lifting from the paper.

"Yeah, I am here to speak to Dr. Jackson about an assistant position on his team," Melissa smiled warmly.

"Oh, well he's not hiring," The boy shrugged slightly and turned back to his notebook.

"Excuse me?" Melissa frowned, taken aback.

"Dr. Jackson has a full staff at the moment," This time the boy didn't even bother looking up.

"I'm sure he won't mind if I just go in and talk to him for a bit. I am very qualified and would be an asset to his team," She motioned towards her resume and took a couple of steps towards the office door.

"I'm sure he will because he is currently in the middle of a video conference and you never called to make an appointment. Is this your first interview?" The boy leaned back in the cushioned chair.

"Listen kid, I didn't work as hard as I did to come here and get told off by a twelve year old. Let me in," Melissa's smile vanished.

"First off, I'm fourteen. Second, you can't just waltz in here and assume you will get a job. You never called to make an appointment which is rather unprofessional. How much experience do you even have?" He looked bored instead of angry.

"I was first in my class in Harvard, graduated this year," Melissa bristled.

"So, you have never had a job in the field and you're expecting to just get welcomed into his staff with no credentials?"

"How dare you! You can't sit there and tell me that Dr. Jackson would hire a fourteen year old but not an educated Ph.D graduate! How the hell did you even get the job?" Melissa snarled.

"I share half his DNA," The boy smiled smugly, folding his hands in his lap. "And personally, I don't appreciate your tone or unprofessionalism. I can give your resume to my father and also tell him all about your sunny disposition."

Melissa felt the blood drain from her face and took a step back, staggering on her heels.

"Also, can I give you some advice? Wearing that tight of a white shirt with that bright pink bra doesn't come across as professional, it's slutty. Believe me you are not my dad's type," He grinned and turned back to his notebook.

Melissa turned quickly on her heel and fled the office, leaving Ryan to his geometry homework.

"A little brutal," Daniel said from his office door. "But nicely done."

"Thanks!" Ryan snapped his notebook shut and stretched out his limbs. "Are you done helping Uncle Jack do his crossword? Can we go to lunch?"

"Yeah, I really have no idea why he keeps doing them when all he ever does is calls me for help," Daniel rolled his eyes and pulled on his jacket. "How about that little diner down the street?"

"Molly's? Hell yeah!" Ryan grinned brightly and swung his feet off the desk, ignoring the glare from his father for his language.

Father and son left the towering building and walked a good six blocks to one of the few human owned diners left. It was small and dirty but had been family owned for generations and made one of the best burgers in the world.

Ryan bit into his messy burger and watched his dad with a critical eye. Daniel had been quiet since they left the office, seeming thoughtful and picking at his food.

"Everything okay dad?" He said through a mouthful of greasy burger.

"Yeah," Daniel smiled but it didn't reach his eyes. "Yeah, everything's fine. Why do you ask?"

"No reason," Ryan grabbed a fry off his dad's plate. "Just asking."

"Hey, act your age. I'm fine, you should be concerned about your math test tomorrow," Ryan rolled his eyes as he finished up his burger.

Worry clouded the teenagers mind later that night. He lay in bed, staring up at the ancient glow in the dark stars on his ceiling and sighed.

Something was very wrong.

His father had been stand-offish, checking his phone constantly and just being quiet overall. It was disconcerting and Ryan hadn't seen him like this since he stopped working off world.

"Tomorrow then?" Ryan sat up quickly and froze at the sound of Daniel's voice. "Jack, it has to be tomorrow. We are going to have to push through no matter what happens."

Curious, Ryan leaned forward, careful not to have his bed squeak.

"This works out well, Teal'c is going to be off world so he can take care of Ryan," Daniel said softly and sadly. "I know, but it's for the good of the future. People are going to know the truth and you know that this most likely will not end well."

Ryan frowned, fear making his throat tighten. It was way to reminiscent of the times when his father risked his life on SG-1.

"He going to be at soccer practice so we don't have to worry about that," That made Ryan perk up and his heart was racing.

"Okay, I'll see you tomorrow," Daniel ended the call with a heavy sigh.

Ryan slid back into bed and stared at the little sliver of light under the door until it went out. He fiddled with his phone before quickly sending a text to Eric.

_Going to have to skip practice tomorrow. _

Blinking away the fog that always clouded his vision with the teleportation pad, Ryan took a step to the building. His heart thudded as he walked up to the towering building.

Suddenly, a man burst out of the front doors, panting and staggering. In his panic he simply grabbed Ryan's arm and tried to pull him away.

"Come on boy, there are terrorists in there!" He gasped out, yanking the teenager back.

"Let me go," Ryan struggled in his grip. "My dad's in there!"

More and more people were running out and he could hear the sirens blasting. Horror gripped his chest as he broke away from the man and sprinted up to the doors, avoiding the crowd running the other way.

Ryan could hear the rush of the Stargate as well as the sharp whistling of the security lasers blasting. His momentum caused him to smash into the balcony and he stared down in complete disbelief.

His father was gripping a note in his hand, staggering up the stairs as he was repeatedly struck with the lasers. When he finally fell to his knees, Sam ran up behind him and grabbed the note.

"Hey!" A guard grabbed Ryan around the waist. "Are you stupid. Can't you hear the sirens? Get out!"

"Dad!" Ryan screamed as he was yanked backwards violently. "No! Let me go! Stop them! Please!"

His voice choked off into a sob when he saw his father's arms give out and he collapsed forward.


	17. Absolute Power: Heartbreak

**Absolute Power: Heartbreak**

**Author's Note: Sorry about the long wait. I've been in Nicaragua for the past month working in health clinics and had no computer. It was an amazing experience but I'm happy to be back and with my laptop :)**

Ryan wasn't really a fan of change.

His whole life had been turned upside down when Shifu had come. At first it was amazing, he had a brother. Even though Shifu was a little strange and different Ryan tried really hard to love his brother.

But Shifu wasn't the problem, his father was.

Daniel had completely changed when the boy arrived and when he gained the knowledge of the Gou'ald.

They had moved from their cozy apartment to a huge, cold mansion. Daniel completely stopped spending time with Ryan and had hired a nanny to make sure he wasn't bothered. It had been a long time since Ryan had seen his Aunts and Uncles.

"Hi there sweetie," Paula smiled down at Ryan as she led him to the limousine. "How was school?"

"Okay" Ryan mumbled. He hated his new private school. His father had enrolled him at the beginning of the year and not let him see his friends since.

"Maybe tonight we can get some pizzas okay? Have a pizza party in your room," She rubbed at the boy's shoulder.

"Can my daddy come?" Ryan perked up and Paula's smile turned forced.

"Sorry babe but I think that he is busy, maybe next time," She replied lightly.

"Yeah, I guess," He sighed and rolled his eyes.

As they pulled up to the mansion Ryan felt a shiver run up his back. He hated this place. He missed the small cluttered apartment that had signs of a family, not a sterile museum.

When they walked into the house Daniel was speaking to the head of security in the foyer. He glanced over quickly and immediately turned back to his employee.

"Daddy!" Ryan smiled at the familiar swell of happiness when he saw his father. "I got a 100 on my spelling test!"

"Paula, I really don't have time for this right now," Daniel snapped at the nanny. "Take care of this."

"Sorry Dr. Jackson," Paula gently took Ryan's hand and quickly led him away, knowing that the little boy's heart was breaking.

The rest of the night passed by as normal. Ryan stayed in his room and worked on homework before watching a little television and eating pizza. He went to bed at nine as usual and fell asleep without much trouble.

With a soft cry, Ryan shot up in bed with tears in his eyes. His heart pounded as he trembled at the memory of the nightmare.

The small boy leapt out of bed and sprinted out of his room. His small feet padded quietly on the marble floor as he went up to his father's study.

Ryan's small hands rested on the doorknob for a few moments before he opened the door.

"Daddy?" He called out softly, hating how his voice echoed so much. "I had a nightmare."

"I am very busy Ryan," Daniel replied without even looking up. "You're a big boy now, just go back to bed."

"I'm scared," His chin trembled.

"Jesus Christ Ryan!" Daniel snapped suddenly, yanking his glasses off and glaring at the boy. "Can't you see how busy I am? This is very important work and I don't need some kid messing it up. Get out."

"But Daddy," Ryan whispered, tears beginning to trickle down his cheeks.

Daniel scowled and stood up abruptly. He stormed over to the child and grabbed his arm roughly.

"No more! I am sick and tired of your constant attention seeking crap," He shook the child harshly. "I only asked you to do one thing, stay out of my way and you can't even do that you stupid child."

"Stop," Ryan cried out as Daniel's hand tightened on his upper arm.

The smack rang through the room like a gunshot and Ryan's head whipped to the side.

"Now go to your room and don't bother me again," Daniel snarled and shoved the child away from him.

Ryan didn't hesitate this time and sprinted out of the room, tears streaming down his face.

Shifu watched him run up to his room with a sad smile on his face.

Raw nausea flooded through Daniel as soon as he woke up. Every feeling rushed through him again; the anger, resentment, the feeling of the hand device as he killed people, the feeling of destroying an entire city, the feeling of striking his only child.

He barely made it to the trashcan before vomiting harshly.

"Jesus Daniel!" Jack jumped when he saw Daniel jerk over the bed violently. "Just breathe buddy, you're okay."

No he wasn't, not with the knowledge that he knew what he was capable of.

Tears stung his eyes as he tried to catch his breath. The sudden presence of another figure made him look up.

Shifu smiled and nodded at him.


	18. The Light: Blackness

**The Light: Blackness**

**Author's Note: Looking through the past few episodes I've realized that poor Daniel went through Hell for several episodes in a row. I promise he'll eventually have a happy moment!**

It was absolutely smothering.

The pressure on his chest was overwhelming. Every bad memory was swirling in his head, flashing behind his closed eyelids.

_The diming light in Sha're's eyes._

_ The screams of his parents as they were crushed to death._

_ Letting Hathor use him willingly. _

_ His destructive addiction to the sarcophagus. _

_ His inability to keep Sha're's son._

_ The continuing failure to save Jack when he was stuck on that planet._

_ Sarah getting captured by Osiris._

_ The darkness that resided inside of him that allowed him to strike his son._

Every failure and mistake he had ever made was pressing on his chest, making it hard to breathe.

"Dr. Jackson," The driver gently shook his shoulder. "Sorry sir but we're at your apartment."

"Oh thanks. Sorry about falling asleep like that," The full body ache made him wince as he climbed out of the car.

"Not a problem," The driver gave him a bright smile. "You seemed exhausted. Good thing you're taking a day off, you look like you need it."

_You can't handle all the things going on in your life._

"Yeah," Daniel nodded slowly, face hurting from the fake smile. "Have a nice night airman."

"You too doctor," The driver gave him a quick wave and went on his way.

_Nice night alone._

Daniel stood outside the building for a moment before slowly making his way to the elevator. He was so tired of everything.

People saw him as some young genius who always got the girl, had a beautiful son, and had the heart of gold.

He was the only one who really saw himself.

He was lonely. He had been lonely his whole life.

As a child he was ignored and cast aside.

In college and graduate school he was avoided because of his age and intelligence.

In his profession he was a joke, still considered to be a pathetic excuse of a scientist.

As a husband he wasn't even able to protect his wife and as a result she died.

As a member of SG-1 he was often the reason they were hurt or even killed.

And as a father he was just pathetic. Everything he did took things away from his child. Ryan grew up with a dead mother and a distant father.

It would be kinder for Jack to raise him.

_Jack was a stronger, better man than he could ever be._

"Good timing Daniel," Jenny grinned brightly at him as the elevator opened and she ushered the three children in. "We just pulled up from school. You usually don't get back from work for another two hours."

"There was a problem with the power at the base," Daniel shrugged, disgusted how easy it was to lie. "We all got sent home early."

"Lucky you," Jenny pressed the button for their floor.

_Yeah, really lucky. He lived on luck. _

He gave her a tight lipped smile and winced slightly when Ryan slipped his small hand into his own. The small boy looked up at him with wide eyes and smiled warmly.

"See you both tomorrow!" Jenny waved at them as she led her children to their apartment.

Daniel opened his door and let in his son, trying not to let the crushing sensation completely overwhelm him.

He let out a small sigh and glanced around the apartment, catching sight of the balcony.

Suddenly, the weight lifted off his chest and he knew what he had to do.

_It was for the good of everyone._

"Hey Ryan?" Daniel called out and the boy turned around from where he was putting up his backpack. "I need to do something out here, can you go into your room for a bit?"

"Okay," Ryan said slowly before walking to his room. He looked confused but did what his father told him to.

Daniel waited until he heard Ryan's door close before he opened the sliding glass door to the balcony. A small gust of wind hit him in the chest and for the first time he felt alive.

Taking a deep breath, he used the small table to hoist himself over the railing and rested his feet on the thin part of the balcony that jutted out.

He was so enthralled by the rush of emotion that he didn't notice Ryan staring at him from inside the living room. The boy hesitated for a few moments before running to get the phone and holding down the number one like his father had taught him.

"Jack O'Neill!" He heard Uncle Jack's voice after a couple of rings.

"Uncle Jack?" Ryan's voice quivered. "Daddy is acting weird."

"What are you talking about Ryan?" Jack's voice instantly went from cheerful to serious and Ryan heard him gathering up his car keys.

"He told me to go to my room but I forgot my writing homework so I went to get it. Then I saw daddy on the balcony but he's on the other side of the bar and he told me that it was really really dangerous to do that," He spoke quickly, trying to keep his father in sight from the doorway of the kitchen.

"Ryan listen to me very carefully. Do not go out there. I'm on my way," Jack spoke quickly and Ryan could hear the car start. "It's going to be okay."

Ryan nodded and sniffled, watching his father carefully as he stood on the edge.

Jack had never driven so quickly in his life. After running several stop signs and going at least ten over the speed limit, he pulled up to Daniel's apartment. The colonel felt like his heart was in his throat as he took the stairs three at a time, opening the door quickly.

"Uncle Jack!" Ryan cried as soon as he saw him, tears beginning to slip down his face.

"Go into the kitchen Ryan," Jack gently pushed the boy towards the door. "Don't come out until I tell you to. Everything is going to be okay."

As soon as he knew Ryan was out of the room he took a deep breath and slowly made his way onto the balcony.

"Hey Daniel," Jack said carefully. "What are you doing?"

"Jack," Daniel's voice sounded breathy and empty. "This is right. This is what is supposed to happen. I may not have done anything right in my life but this…this is right."

"Daniel, come off the ledge and let's talk," Jack tried again but held his breath as Daniel's feet moved slightly closer to the edge.

"There's nothing else to talk about," The blank voice continued and chilled Jack to the bone. "I've made this choice. This is what's best for everyone."

"Everyone? What about Ryan? He's the one who called me Daniel. He could have seen you jump. Would you really subject you son to watching you die?" He tried to keep his fear down.

"He wasn't supposed to see. But it would have been for the better," Daniel's grip on the railing loosened. "You all will see that eventually."

"Daniel," Jack said softly and gently placed a hand on his shoulder, praying Daniel wouldn't jump at the contact.

"Jack?" Daniel's voice cleared and he looked around, sucking in a deep breath.

"Hey, you're okay," Jack gripped his hand tighter around on Daniel's shoulder. "Get off that ledge and I'll take you to Fraiser. You're going to be okay."

Daniel nodded shakily and Jack helped him climb over the railing.

"I don't feel well," Daniel muttered, paling significantly. He looked up to see Ryan's wide, teary eyes staring back at him and his vision went black.


	19. Prodigy: Young Love

**Prodigy: Young Love**

"I have sorted all of the craft supplies into several categories," Teal'c motioned at the neat pink, red, and white piles. "Paper goods, foam shapes, glitter glue, and miscellaneous."

"Teal'c you sucked the joy out of making Valentine shoe boxes," Jack announced from the other side of the table. "He just needs to cover it in paper and glue a couple of pipe cleaners on it."

"Why would he want to do a mediocre job?" Teal'c raised his eyebrow.

"Because we don't want to turn him into Daniel prematurely," Jack whispered, smiling at Ryan.

"I heard that!" The archeologist called from the kitchen before coming back in with a juice box for his son. "There is nothing wrong with striving for excellence."

"He's four. It's a box that kids put candy in," Jack rolled his eyes. "It doesn't need to be fancy."

"I want it to be pretty!" Ryan clapped his hands, grinning widely.

"I do not understand this tradition," Teal'c announced as he cut out paper hearts.

"Well, it's traditionally a day when love is celebrated. There's a lot of exaggerated romance and children give each other small tokens of friendship like paper cards and candy," Daniel said, twisting sparkly pipe cleaners into different shapes. "It's over commercialized and an easy way for companies to make money off of desperate people."

"Someone didn't get many Valentines when they were little," Jack teased, helping Ryan write his name with the red glitter glue.

"Don't be a jerk," Daniel smiled softly.

"I like Valentine's Day," Ryan announced, scribbling on some paper. "It's fun and you get to tell people that you like them."

"Anyone you like?" Jack smiled warmly.

"No," Ryan suddenly turned serious, scribbling more furiously on his paper. "Girls are gross."

"Sure are," Daniel nodded.

"Do you like anyone Uncle Jack?" Ryan glanced up with a small smile.

"Ah…no," Jack fidgeted for a moment. "No one. Let's talk about you Ryan, no girls you think are pretty?"

Daniel snorted and tried to hide his smile behind the paper he was cutting up.

"Well…" Ryan tapped the skinny marker he was using on his chin. "I think Lucy is really pretty. She has really nice hair and she shares her animal crackers with me. But I don't like her, she's a girl and gross."

Daniel raised both of his eyebrows and Teal'c smiled softly.

"I think I'm going to give her two kisses," The boy said thoughtfully, looking at the large bag of Hershey kisses on the table.

"Be careful Daniel, next thing you know he's going to call you from Vegas telling you he eloped," Jack teased. "Then comes grandbabies."

"Hey!" Daniel raised his voice pointing the marker threateningly at his friend. "Shut up. He's four."

"They fall in love so young these days," Jack sighed.

"In Chulak most children are engaged to be married when they are born," Teal'c pointed out.

Daniel stared in horror at his son who was coloring happily.

"Ryan, you said it earlier, girls are gross. Don't forget it," The archeologist said hurriedly.


End file.
